God created women to be life givers & the enemy of our soul wants to destroy life. He manipulates & twists God’s truth until we believe it. At age 17, I listened to many lies that my unborn baby was not a life, but instead, a blob of tissue. I believed those lies & made a choice to abort my child for selfish reasons. The next lie I believed was that the abortion was solving my problems & my life would be back to normal after it was over with. I lived the next 15 yrs. in shame & complete secrecy. During those yrs., I met & gave my heart to Jesus. In October 2006, I laid my secret at Jesus’ feet. He immediately started calling me to minister with Him to the hearts of women who have been bound up in the guilt of a past abortion. Later, almost 2 years to the date, in October 2008 I broke my silence & surrendered to do whatever He had called me to. After surrendering to start a post abortion ministry, God put a special lady in my life, Alisha Fussell. We knew from the beginning there was a connection. God had called us both to “fight for life” and put us in ministry together. We had no idea of the bond the Lord would form between the 2 of us. The freedom I felt after surrendering was amazing but I was warned of being a “target” & the fiery darts the enemy was going to throw at me. There was no way of wrapping my mind around just how much of an attack I would face. I started facing struggles with insecurities regarding my self-worth, questioning if was I hearing God correctly, and also struggled with finances and relationships. He then attacked my marriage hard. We had allowed him to enter in and he attacked where it was weak, and destroyed it. When I chose to stay & fight for my marriage, he knew to move on to another area. Next, he attacked my heart as a mother & attempted to take away 2 of my children. Fortunately he was unable to succeed in destroying either of those relationships and God revealed truth. At the end of 2010, I was released from my marriage and moved out of my home. Within 8 days, the enemy knew how to hurt me and because I was in such a vulnerable state, I took the bait.
On February 9, 2011, when all other attempts had failed at getting me to stop working for the Lord, the enemy tried to take my life. God at that very hour woke up my sister in Christ, Alisha, from her sleep and gave her an urgency to pray for me & against the spirit of suicide. She later told me she saw me lying at His feet and He was mending every hurt that I felt. She immediately went to war and did not stop until after the feeling of urgency was gone.
John 10:10 says “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Over this last year God has rebuilt my life and showed me how to lay down my pride in order to completely trust Him. He has also made me aware of how big the war on “Life” is and that I am a part of His army. I am grateful for Alisha interceding that night through prayer. In addition, I am honored to be on the front lines fighting this battle alongside her & the East Texas Pregnancy Help Center, in Jasper.
For those of my family and friends that haven’t been able to see the whole picture I felt that it was important to share this testimony with you so that you might understand the story behind “Me”. I’d also like to tell you all thank you for your support this last year
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